Britney Spears is still speaking out about her separation from her teenage sons.
On Saturday night (Sept. 10), the 40-year-old pop superstar published a slew of audio messages on Instagram about the emotional fallout of being rejected by her sons Sean Preston, 16, and Jayden, 15, whom she shares with ex-husband Kevin Federline.
“I’ve honestly felt like a major part of me has died since they were gone,” Spears says in one of five brief films that also cover prior AA meetings, treatment with horses, and the horrors of her 13-year conservatorship.
Federline told the Daily Mail in early August that the former couple’s sons had avoided their mother in recent months and were struggling to deal with her naked photographs on social media following the termination of her conservatorship. Jayden recently spoke out about his mother’s parenting in an ITV interview and refused to attend her recent star-studded wedding to long-term partner Sam Asghari.
In the minute-long audio recording, the “Hold Me Closer” singer continues, “Like, I have no purpose anymore.” “They were my happiness, my everything.” I was looking forward to seeing them; it was what I lived for. They vanished without a trace. ‘Did my heart just cease beating?’ I wondered. ‘I honestly don’t see how they can just shut me off like that.’ “I’m not sure what you mean.”
Spears claims that she “used to have many more kids than” Federline, with whom she was married from 2004 until 2007. “People forget that portion because they are always focused on the negative.” But from age six to nine, I had them 70% of the time.”
In another audio tape, the pop artist responds to allegations that she uses social media to garner attention. “She wants attention now that my kids are saying she’s not good enough,” she says. “I want to be heard, and I’m upset.” And I kind of want to annoy people unconsciously because I’ve been so f—ing offended.”
Spears concluded her thoughts by sending well wishes to her two sons. “All I know is that my love for my children is more than anything and I’m sorry if I ever hurt you guys in any way,” she says. “I was told you guys had blocked me. But I will speak here. … I’m so blessed even to call you mine, and I just want you to know I apologize.”
Listen to Spears’ audio recordings on Instagram below.